Lot's of thinking!

One thing I've been confronted with this trip is the importance of setting down roots as we commit to serving God and other people in whatever ways we've been made uniquely to do so. This isn't my favorite thing to think about because I seek out NEW things, NEW experiences, NEW adventures. So, to be reminded of the necessity of commitment is sometimes a humbling experience I avoid. I think like a lot of people I would often refer to myself as indecisive. But I know this isn't true. If I'm honest with myself, I usually know what I really want (or at least I think I do...). What I really struggle with though is the idea of binding myself to things, places, anything. I like to keep my options open. But being here with this organization and seeing the ways God has BLESSED and continues to multiply the blessings that flow from the staff who are able and willing to truly commit and put down roots here is incredible. And yes, commitment will mean different things in different contexts, but these roots I've seen here are life-giving and are blessed by the Living God. These are all some pretty incomplete thoughts,... but I just felt like sharing it even if it makes no sense ha.

However, this being said, I know I've learned a lot already about what it means to find depth, value and meaning in each experience and person regardless of longevity. God's shown me this through one friend in particular who lives in the flat above where I'm staying with my host family. I don't know for sure the next time I'll see this young women once I leave Kolkata, but she continues to show me true friendship during my time here and we know that we will remain friends throughout the rest of our lives because nothing can erase or take away the connections, memories, and moments we've shared during this brief time.

Maybe this can all be summarized in that we need to commit to each experience, person, and moment regardless. IDK. Ha.

So, anyways. I've been pretty sick these last couple of days. Like THE worst. But I'm doing a lot better now although I'm heading to the doctor tomorrow to check some stuff out.
Other than that, life here is pretty much the same it's been over the last couple of weeks. I'll be leaving here next Friday and next Wed will be my last night with my host family. So, I've been trying to prepare for this just making sure I'm spending more time with the people I've known, taking a few pictures (not of anything important unfortunately ha), and trying to finish up the work I've been doing here.

Can you pray for my health? Seriously. India is kicking my butt this time around ha.
Also, please pray that I'd be able to invest and COMMIT fully to the rest of my short time here.
Thanks peeps!
I'll probably post one more time before I get back to the U.S. and then I'll letcha know I made it :P

- Jenni

I know everyone says this, but...

I can't believe how quickly my time has been passing here! I'm already over half way through my time in Kolkata and after this week I'll only have another 2 weeks left - basically just a blink of the eye!

This has been one difficult thing about being here with this organization for part of the summer - just knowing that I'm not able to put down roots or grow many of the relationships I've created with the ladies as deeply as I desire. I'm grateful and thankful and blessed more than I'd hoped by the short time I've already spent here - but the remainder of these few weeks reminds me that I need to continue to absorb every moment and not let anything pass me by unexamined. The staff here had been read a couple of books before coming to help prepare my mindset for during the time I'm in Kolkata. I'm reminded a lot of a quote from one of them that state, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Whoa. A pretty radical statement - and I'm not quite sure if I fully accept it. However, I also gather a lot of meaning from it because it reminds me, motivates me, commands me to think about/process/analyze/question a lot of things I see and even more so the things I think, believe, and feel. For me, this last part is often the most difficult.

Tuesday two of the staff took me and 6 other of the volunteers and interns around the city of Kolkata on a sort of walking tour. One of the places we visited was the (huge!) train station on the other side of the river. The staff bought us tickets so we could get onto the train platforms and they asked us to walk all the way down the platform (each a different one) taking our time and really observing what we saw. Often, they explained, village people will buy tickets for their sick and dying family members so that they can send them into the city hoping someone will be able to take care of them. Often, however, the sick people end up lying on the platforms in pain and dying alone (unless a team comes from the Mother Teresa house to care for them).

Later on in the day we all took the ferry back across the river. There was a small girl (age 6 maybe?) and a boy a little older who played the drums, danced, and did tricks in order to beg for spare change on the ferry. Maybe it seems silly, but watching the little girl dance wearing tattered clothing and makeup I felt just.. repulsed honesty and I had to blink away tears. When we crossed onto the other side of the river, we saw another little girl there also who was wearing the same kind of makeup and was also begging. It seemed clear to me that these children were owned by an adult - family or not - who was enabling them to beg. I mean, at least they're probably being fed, right? But I can't help but wonder what's going to happen to those little girls when they grow too mature to inspire sympathy while begging. What options are those little girls going to be left? Interning alongside an organization that works to empower women and girls coming out of trafficking has made me a lot more aware of what few options young women and girls in poverty really have..

I'm continuing to learn a lot here either when I'm interacting with the women and staff or when I'm doing research for them on a laptop...

Did you know that there are 300 million slaves alive today?

I honestly wouldn't have guessed there were that many.. But that's more than at any other point in the history of the WORLD. The difficult thing though hasn't been coming here and seeing this fact. It's been realizing that this very thing exists where I grew up (all across the Midwest actually). This is a fact. It's in the U.S. - it's in the Midwest - the Heartland. This is something I've known, but being here has really confronted me with the reality of this. It's still really difficult to wrap my mind around though..

I know this is a huge prayer request, but could you pray against human sex trafficking and the commercial sex industry in general? This is a really big prayer, but I think it's one we need to find ourselves praying more often because our God is The Living God and He is much bigger than even this. Pray for new eyes for me, that I (and those I love) would be blessed with discernment and wisdom for where and how we can best serve God in both the future and, most importantly, the present.

Thanks, everyone - I'm truly grateful for you.
- Jenni

:)

Wow things have been busy!

I've been really blessed to get to see more of how this organization operates and to begin to form some relationships with the women we work alongside. I'm pouring over the Bengali textbooks I've gotten my hands on which has helped me relate to the women better. There are (of course) considerable language barriers to forming deep relationships, but I've been really grateful for the ways some of the women and I have still been able to joke, smile, and work alongside each other at the sites. It's a humbling experience to know women who are so truly hospitable regardless of how little I'm able to communicate.

These past two weeks here in Kolkata have been a growing experience already. I know that I'm here only for a blink of an eye compared to many of the people and staff I've met who are investing so incredibly here. But God's using my time, nonetheless. If nothing more, God has at least used these past two weeks to further humble me and show me how dire it is that I recognize HIS reality and HIS kingdom. For me personally, some of the things this means is that I'm reminded I need to be a woman of integrity and that sometimes God is working in ways I cannot understand yet. God is mysterious. And His plan is huge and everything is connected.

I've gotten more used to taking the public transport and getting around on my own. It's empowering to be able to navigate around here on my own (well... or at least find my way around the areas I've been in hah). The staff and other interns from multiple organizations have been wonderful and really encouraging - it's been really valuable getting to know them a little.

FYI as it is for now - I'll be helping out at one of the sites on Mondays and Fridays, and then Tues-Thurs I'll be situated at one of the staff's apts doing research and grant work (I know it's gross but I'm actually super excited to do research!). I would, however, appreciate prayers for this because it's a lot of work and I could use God's guidance as I help look for potential grant funders.

So here are a few random thoughts:

1) The food here is somewhat different than in southern India where I was last summer. They serve dishes here that are more dry and there are a lot more street vendors that sell super tasty (and potentially dangerous) egg rolls, chow mien, and such.
2) My biggest fear here is probably that I'll get hit by a bus. Traffic can be crazy! In fact, I suggest you look up some youtube videos of Kolkata traffic just to get an idea ;p ha
3) It's actually gotten a lot cooler here since the first day I arrived. I mean, you probably still have to refrigerate anything chocolate, but I'm no longer sweating my face off (which is a good thing).

So, here's a story that was thought-provoking for me:
I was walking to one of the sites one morning when I ducked under a canopy to quickly get out my umbrella. I was standing there trying to pull it out of my purse when a well-dressed man in a red turban walked up to me. I usually walk quickly with my eyes down avoiding interacting with the men in this area, so I didn't want to talk at first. But this man was truly kind and sincerely trying to make sure I was alright and knew where I was. It's not the most amazing quick snippet to type up, but it meant a lot at the time and I was shown/reminded that there is a lot of kindness here and that God pours out His blessings everywhere.

Please pray forrrrrr:

My health! I've been pretty sick all week and it doesn't show signs of letting up. I'm getting on meds today, but it was be awesome to be healed like now.
The organization/staff/women. Please pray for God to continue blessing everyone here and that His blessing would be multiplied so His glory can be magnified! Also, some of the staff and interns are searching for discernment - please pray that God reveals His will and that we can obey!

Thank you so much everyone :) If you have anything I can also pray for, please comment or send me a message on facebook or in my email jennifer.kahanic@nwciowa.edu

Peace
- Jenni

I'm here!

So I made it to Kolkata at last!
Turns out the internet situation will be a little bit different than I had originally thought, so I'm not sure how often or to what extent I'll be able to update this blog. Currently I'm at an internet cafe so it's a lil slow.

So, I arrived in Kolkata close to midnight on Friday and was (thankfully) able to spend most of Saturday sleeping, reading up on some papers and articles the organization gave me, and trying (sadly) to memorize a pocket book of Bengali words and phrases. It was super neat getting to meet the some of the staff at the apartment I staid at; also, I think it really helped put me at ease to be able to talk with them a little about their experiences here and what it's meant to them.

I'm currently staying with my wonderful host family (they are ridiculously wonderful) on the south side of Kolkata. And, man, it's a lot hotter here than I'd expected. For example, the Belvita crackers I had packed for my trip have turned soggy due to the heat and humidity. This means it's crazy hot! My host family is really engaging and, once again, I'm humbled by the hospitality I've been shown here already.

Interesting fact: My Bengali name is now Asha. My host family's 6yr old son kept asking me what my name was, so we thought it would be a good idea to give him a more familiar Bengali name to remember. I'm not really sure why he chose Asha.... I don't know if it fits my personality or not... you decide :P

Right now it's looking like I will switch back and forth working at two different sites - one in the north end and one in the south. I've already visited the first one which employs a smaller number of women and today I was able to visit the northern one which is larger. I've gotten to meet 4 short-term interns who have been really great to talk to (considering my limited vocabulary in Bengali as of right now ha). It looks like I may be doing some grant writing/research perhaps and will be doing some projects with excel as well as getting to work alongside the women cutting and tearing fabrics. We're still trying to figure out my schedule a bit, but things have been going super well so far and I'm sincerely looking forward to the rest of my time here!

As an intern, I have a lot more freedom than I'd expected to have. I'll be traveling to and from the sites as well as running errands usually by myself it looks like - which is exciting! I was pretty intimidated this morning when I had to find my way to and take the metro by myself (I can't believe how many people fit in the metro...). But at the same time, when I'm able to do something outside my comfort zone and succeed (I survived the metro!), it's a really satisfying feeling :)

BTW: just for future reference, I may not have many pictures from this trip. I want to be really careful about respecting the dignity and privacy of the women, staff, and people I meet, sooo I also won't be sharing their pictures or personal information. Thank you for understanding this :)

Please pray for me to continue allowing God to define my identity and my purpose (this is vague, I know.)
Also, please pray for the fruits of God's Spirit to be felt by the people I meet and interact with.
Pray that I would know the ways to best humble myself and truly love other people.
Pray for the people who miss me and the people I already miss.
Annnd Please pray of course for my health and that I am able to be safe.

With much love,
- Jenni

Kolkata!

Well, here I am a year later sitting out in my hallway in the middle of some last minute packing. I reread the first paragraph of my last blog post August 11, 2011. Last year as I said goodbye to the people I'd known at the Word for the World headquarters in Chennai, I had silently wondered if God would bring me back to India some day. I remember having a lot of peace as I left that night half knowing that this wouldn't be the last time I would experience India...

As I've spent this last year at Northwestern I've seen God grow me in a lot of ways I had never anticipated, and I've watched a lot of the things I learned over last summer be challenged into a deeper sense of maturity, understanding, and humility. It's one thing to go overseas and transform into a missionary of sorts for the summer, it's another thing entirely to come back to the places and people we call home and seek to witness and further God's Kingdom in more familiar, perhaps even mundane, surroundings. I had a lot of things to figure out those first couple of weeks or months I was back at Northwestern and home. I encountered a lot of cultural and theological dissonance, and I was beginning to question a lot of previously unexamined parts of my identity.

As usual, looking back I can see that God was weaving together something beautiful despite my confusion and own inability to see His purpose. Throughout this past year, God has continued to bring opportunities into my life to speak and think deeply about Him and about what I learned throughout last summer. And (although somewhat frustrating at the time ha) He also brought the most beautiful people and responsibilities into my life which helped me to question and further explore what I thought I had already learned.

And now I'm here - getting ready to leave for Kolkata tomorrow morning. I was told by my advisor and some professors that I could really use an internship this summer to bolster my resume, so I began to pray for it immediately (all the way back in November) and I began looking around for potential internship sites which would offer me some experience working alongside women/children dealing with issues such as domestic violence, prostitution, trafficking, etc..

So, now that bring me to here - preparing for six weeks in Kolkata learning from the organization staff - an absolute dream come true! And I've just been so truly blessed by everyone who is praying for me even now and has stood behind me as I've prepared for this exhilarating opportunity! I will be staying with a host couple who also work with this organization and who are already hosting one intern. I plan to blog about my experiences in Kolkata as much as I'm able to, but I won't be sure how often I'll have internet access until I'm there.

I would love any prayers for health, growth in faith, and just general openness to everything I hope to learn (and also prayers for my family and friends because I love them and prayers are always awesome). I would also really appreciate payers for my boyfriend Zach and friend Jordan who are both interning with a missions organization in Kursk, Russia this summer. A lot of people miss both of them this summer (me included of course) and I just pray that everyone we know would be fully invested wherever God has us this summer or at this point in our lives so we can all best further the Kingdom of God as fully as possible in the here and now!
Thanks again, for everyone who has supported me - I hope to blog soon after I'm situated.

Peace!
- Jenni